Finn outed Santana because she pissed him off. Which: Fine. Whatever. Some people think she deserved it. Some people think being outed isn’t a thing anyone ever deserves. Either way, it’s realistic, and at the very least, it was the catalyst for some really intense dialogue about outing from gay and mainstream media outlets alike. But this whole coming out intervention business is infuriating.
It’s rad that Finn wants Santana to feel free to be her unicorn-loving self. It’s cool that he knows how sometimes people turn their aggression inward when they’re so full of anger. But come on, man. He feels sorry for her? HE FEELS SORRY FOR HER? That’s condescending to a face-punching degree. Even the most empathetic straight ally cannot begin to comprehend the dynamic process of coming out. The way antecedent experiences and cultural triggers and zeitgeisty conversations and religious leanings and familial relationships and a badrillion unspeakable hopes and fears and dreams and nightmares collide inside a person when they say out loud for the very first time, ‘I’m gay.’ And all the well-meaning guilt-trippin’ and in-your-face singin’ in the world isn’t going to change that. As gay people, we don’t get to choose whether or not our friends and families and co-workers and church leaders and politicians accept us, but coming out in our own time in our own way in our own space is the one thing we do get to choose. And we deserve to figure out how to do that in our own time in our own way.
AfterElton’s Glee 3x7 recap (x)
Because TVLine just named Finn singing “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” to Santana as one of the twenty best moments of Glee Season 3 (x), and I am angry. Basically, everything that is wrong with that scene can be summed up by the moment when
Finn scrawls “Lady Music Week” on the white board and … launches into a speech about how the Glee club loves Santana enough to let her be who she wants to be. As long as who she wants to be is an out and proud teenage lesbian. Santana literally goes, “So, wait, I don’t even get a say in this?” No, Santana. No, you don’t. You come out when Finn Hudson tells you to come out, OK? It’s like the rules of feminism.